Saturday, September 8, 2012

Misc. rantings about parenting a child with disabilites

I didn't think you would read the blog if I didn't put a picture in it.  LOL  This is a picture of my late Uncle Scott Johnson.

Any parents out there with a disabled child will understand some of my rantings, but parents of typical children can not really relate to a parent with a child who or is it whom has disabilities.  My son is a wonderful caring adult that is lucky to have the same friends for many years.  I am very lucky to have survived through many challenges with him through the years.  He is now 20.  We adopted him when he was 6.  His disabilities were not fully realized at that time he was adopted and I was naive.  (We loved him and wanted him not matter what problems he had, so I doubt it would have made any difference to us If we knew what his challenges were.)  I thought his, "Developmental Delay," diagnosis meant that he would eventually catch up with the other children.  He was just delayed, right?  No, it does not mean that and probably should be called something else, but that I will have to get into at another time.  Anyway, my son is an attractive guy and he looks typical.  He is polite and communicates fairly well.  Until you get into a long conversation past small talk,  you may not realize that he has any disabilities.  One of his major issues is his potty mouth.  He can go for some time without saying something, "off color," but he then has to let it out.  I kind of relate this to something like Turrets Syndrome, dirty words just come out of your mouth, no matter where you are and who you are with.  I could be a prude and complain every time this happens, but it happens too often.  I have to pick my battles!   If we go out to eat, most of the meal we can get through without this happening.  Then out of the blue his saying for the time has to come out!  We can't get through a complete meal.  I am fortunate enough to eat at places which have not thrown us out.  LOL  We have been kicked out of the public library when he broke a chain due to throwing a fit.  Yes, I had to pay for the chair.  His friends even toss his colorful language into all conversations with us, just for fun.  Learning to deal with a problem may not come easy, but you can't cry over it the rest of your life.  Believe me, I did my share of the crying, but I had to learn to carry on and make light of the situation.  One of the fun things about my son is his odd humor.   A case in point is his desire to legally change his name to Mr. Long Stroke.  LOL   I could be upset that he shared this with me, or I can shrug it off and wonder what may be next.  I hope I am up to the challenge............ 

I left my my cell phone in the van and I already had a night gown on when I realized it.  It was dark outside and I thought I could sneak out and get the phone and no one would see me in my nightie.  Wrong!  My neighbor's motion detecting yard light was more sensitive tonight than normal.  LOL

Our youth want to gain freedom and move away from home.  It is perfectly understandable.  I did so once myself.  For those with disabilities, they also want to be like others and move away from home.  Many people with disabilities do not drive or have transportation.  If they are lucky, they are able to use public transportation for have a family member to drive them where needed.  What do they do when they need to go to the hospital when a close friend has been rushed there?  What do they do when a prescription needs filled and it is not within the public transportation times?  At this age, they are very lucky to have a living parent, but when they are older and the parent is gone, they are left in difficult situations.  You and I don't think twice about jumping into our car and going to pick up an ingredient we need for a special recipe, or milk and bread.  I urge you to reach out and look around you.  Help those in need when and if you can, even if it is a lift to the grocery store. 

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